time keeps on ticking…
25 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in family, marriage, memories, pregnancy, work
As you can probably tell, I haven’t felt much like blogging over the past little while. It’s not like I have nothing to say, I do, it’s just the actual act of sitting down, logging in and writing that I’m struggling with.
I’m still pregnant. I have yet to feel that burst of energy that comes with ‘nesting’ although the baby has dropped and is in place, and has been for a couple of weeks now. My feet have swollen so much that I had to take the laces out of my shoes because it’s much easier to not tie them up as there’s no way they could fall off if i wanted them to. Everyone expects me to go soon, but I guess only the little one knows for sure when that will be.
I’ve been off work for nearly a week. It’s nice, boring, but nice. Although the circumstances aren’t ideal, I’m so glad that my husband is home with me throughout the day so at least I have someone to talk to. We’ve even developed the same napping schedule ;)
It’s now been three full days that I haven’t been at work and i haven’t logged into my work email or called them once! I’m not a martyr, I just worry about my job and things going wrong. But, considering there is another 362 days before I go back, I think it’s better that I don’t log in or check in.
In a sudden realization that in a few short (or less) weeks our twosome is becoming a threeome, I’ve realized that I need to get in some social time with friends. I’ve been a bit of a hermit the past few months and I’m guessing that won’t get better after the baby is born ;) It’s easier to do now that I have time throughout the day, but man is it hard to get around to get the desire to actually go out!
So, things are going well. Counting down the days, doing last minute reading and taking classes, trying to get as prepared as we can be.
But mostly, I’m enjoying as much time as I can with my Husband on our own. It’s just so weird to think that it will never be just him and I again.
last weekend…
14 Mar 2009 1 Comment
in friends, pregnancy, stuff, work
Yesterday, as I was getting ready for work, something occured to me. This is my last weekend for a year! With my Husband still on disability, my Sister being a SAH Mom, my Dad retired and my Mom only working a few hours a week, I have a feeling that very quickly weekends will mean nothing and the next 365 days will just blend in together.
It’s surreal to imagine being off of work for an entire year, a little bit exciting and a little bit scary. I’ m a creature of habit. Part of the reason that I love my job so much is it’s predictability. I have daily and monthly duties that have to be done the same times. For someone who loves routine, this really is the day job. But, for the next 52 weeks, there will be very little of a routine.
Even though I keep teasing everyone at work about my year long vacation, I know I’m going to miss them all… I’m just thankful that I live just down the street from work and if I get bored during the day, there are plenty of people to have lunch dates with or just the occasional drop in ;)
are mood swings common?
08 Jan 2009 Leave a Comment
in family, marriage, pregnancy, work
My mantra lately at work has been ’11 more weeks, just 11 more weeks’. I’m looking forward until Monday when that number changes to 10! Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and am actually sad about leaving it for an entire year. I want to spend the full year off with the baby, but a part of me would like to just stay in the work loop too. I’ve offered to help from home and work on spreadsheets at month end and maybe go in every few weeks for a few hours. Unfortunately, my bosses keep telling me that parenthood is much tougher then I seem to think it will be and keep dismissing my suggestions.
But, there are days when my back is achey, I’m exhausted and people around me are just generally ticking me off. It takes a lot to push me over the edge at work, but I find with each week that passes my fuse gets shorter. This afternoon I had a conversation with a male friend about this subject. A male friend that I may or may not have recently blown up on. The conversation went something like this:
Me: I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m just losing my fuse with everything and getting angry and frusterated at the smallest things lately!
Friend: No F’ing Kidding!!!
Oops ;)
work
25 Nov 2008 Leave a Comment
The other day, I was talking with some co-workers when one asked me the infamous question. Will I be returning to the company after the baby is born. I was thoughtful and I said probably. With my Husband not working the chances of my being able to stay at home are doubtful. She corrected herself and explained she didn’t mean will I go back to work, but will I come back to our work or look for something else during my time off.
I looked at her funny and said ‘of course I will, I love my job’. This set off some sort of discussion on how could I possibly love such a thing.
But see, I do love my job. Sure there’s things about it that I can’t stand and there’s days when it drives me nuts. But, I’ve learnt so much over the past 10 months I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. And, from someone who failed grade 11 math twice and is now in the position of Accounts Payable, that sure is saying a lot.
I couldn’t imagine working anywhere else then my company. The people are amazing, it’s the first place I’ve ever worked where I truly have friends, and my job keeps me interested and constantly learning something new. The only exception to the rule is being a stay at home Mom. Otherwise, there isn’t anything else or any other place I could see myself working at.
I’m not the only one out there like this, am I?
back to reality…
13 Aug 2008 1 Comment
This morning I woke up and decided I had to go back to work. Today felt like the deal breaker day in my mind. Go back to work now, or never go back again. We can’t afford to both be without jobs now, so I decided to head in.
My work is amazing to me and I knew that they would allow me to take some more time off without problems, but I’m thinking about the months ahead, the Dr’s appointments and transfers to Rehab Hospital. I’m going to be taking a lot of time off.
When I first walked into my office, I went into my CFO’s office to let him know I was there. He looked at me with kind eyes and asked how I was doing and I broke down into tears and had to walk away.
Not a good start to my day.
Fortunately, I work with a lot of friends and a lot of amazing people. Today, I realized how much I need that support system in all aspects of my life. I had a lot of hugs today, a lot of offers for sleepovers and girls nights and requests for help.
I had a few anxiety attacks throughout the day. I called Jason half a dozen times questioning his hemogloban level, his blood pressure and heart rate. I’m so used being there every day and finding out this information first hand, I felt lost.
When I arrived at the hospital, it was the start of a four day shift. I received a lot of hello’s and smiles from the nurses who I hadn’t seen since the weekend. As I was standing at the nurses station waiting for a call, I even got a hug from one of the nurses walking by. I said hello to the other patients visitors that I haven’t seen since last night and felt strangely comforted by them all. These people, who 13 days ago were strangers to me, have now become my rocks.
Although all these people help me through all this, it also makes me feel sad.
