dear Mr Windows and Door Man

When coming to an appointment for a prospective client, here are some helpfull suggestions, which may help you in getting the account next time around:

  1. Don’t arrive two hours ahead of your scheduled appointment time, sitting in your truck outside of our house for 20 minutes all creepy like before you call to see if it’s okay that you’ve shown up two hours early.
  2. Velour suits don’t workon anyone, not even you.
  3. When buttoning up your white dress shirt, please pay extra attention to the button to hole ratio.  Missing buttons just takes notice away from your presentation and brings it right to your gutt that hangs out during the entire conversation.
  4. Make eye contact.
  5. Don’t come in reeking of female perfume.
  6. You’ve explained how dissapointed you are that we were just TWO days off of missing a great sale.  Don’t push us to buy now so that you can talk to your boss about the possibility of extending the sale, just for us.  Sales tactics like that don’t work on me.
  7. Don’t slouch in our chair during the presentation and while writing up the quote. 
  8. When giving the final costs, at least look like you’re looking up the prices for the doors that were chosen.  Don’t just pull numbers out of your ass, explaining that the doors we chose are the ‘high end’ collection.

And with these suggestions, I wish you good luck with your next potential client because you sure aren’t going to hear from us again.

~Best Regards, not such a client

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