remembering pieces…

I’m starting to forget that night, even though it was only a week ago.  I remember what I told people, the story of how it happened, what I heard, but the actual memory is slipping away. 

I remember the screaming, I remember the blonde woman who pulled me out of the car and refused to leave my side.  I remember the site of my car, underneath the search lights as I saw the firemen cutting out my husband.   But I remember very little more then that. 

I do remember the phone calls I made, standing there at the side of the road, watching in disbelief as I realized my husband was trapped.  There was nothing I could do, the firemen and ambulance hadn’t shown up yet and I called my Sister screaming.  I don’t know what I wanted her to do, what I thought she could do, I didn’t even know where we were.  I just screamed and cried and sat on the highway as people swarmed around me, covering me, offering me water.

An hour or so later, I called a friend, very calmly asked her to please go to the hospital because Jason was being airlifted their and I didn’t want him to be alone and we were being sent to a closer hospital.  I don’t even think I told her what was wrong, what had happened.  At that moment, the obsurtity of it all made me unable to repeat.  It just didn’t seem like it could be real.  I thanked her for going to the hospital and then I hung up and sat back in the ambulance waiting for someone to tell me if my Husband was dead or alive.

Three hours later when I finally made it to the same hospital, she was there waiting.  I’ll never be able to thank her enough for that.

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